Wherever I Go These Things Must Follow February 5, 2008

♦ My glasses – I can’t see far. And my allergy-prone eyes don’t seem to like contacts.
 
♦ Calendars – I’ve got one in my kitchen, one in my bedroom, and one in my bathroom. I have to know what day it is today, what day it will be next week, and what day it will be in one month even when I’m brushing my teeth. It’s fundamental to my sanity.
 
♦ Watch / clocks - My life runs on a schedule, so knowing the time at all times is very important. I feel lost when I don’t know what time it is. I have three (nearly identical) watches that I can use plus one stop watch, and of course, my cell phone. At home I keep one clock in every room.
 
♦ Calculator – I can’t count mentally and I don’t have enough fingers on my hand. I get really frustrated when I have to calculate something (e.g., tip) and don’t have a calculator handy. Thank goodness my cell phone has a calculator (and tip!) function.
 
♦ My cell phone – Not for the phone feature – hardly anyone calls me and I hardly call anyone, but for its portable clock, calendar, calculator functions. Very convenient to have one tool to fulfill so many of my most basic needs.
 
♦ Internet – I feel stranded when I’m offline. The internet helps me stay connected with the rest of the world. And it lets me check the weather at any moment of the day/night in any location of the world, if I so need it. 
 
♦ Chapstick – It seems that the more I use it, the more I need to use it. I don’t know what they put in it, but I’m hooked for life. I need at least two tubes of the stuff to feel peace of mind.
 
♦ Ear plugs – I can’t get a wink of sleep without them. All the noise must be blocked out for me to be able to fall asleep. (It used to be that I also needed an eye mask to sleep, but I had to learn to get over wearing it once I discovered that it was exacerbating my acne/rosacea symptoms.)
 
♦ Notepad/notebook (preferably attractive-looking and college-ruled) & a black rollerball or gel pen – To write lists, important reminders, notes, and random thoughts. The pretty notebook and rollerball/gel pen are to incite pleasure and delight.  
 
♦ Nivea – The thick white cream is the only thing that can make my dry, ashy hands feel smooth. And somehow it also gives me a cool, then warm, soothing feeling when I lather it on. I love the tiny trial-size tins. They’re soooo cute and they fit in my pocket, so I can carry them everywhere! 
 
♦ iPod – What would life be without music? (Dry.) Music breathes soul into life. I can’t imagine exercising without music, dancing without music, or just living without music.

Help, My Boss May Be OCPD, too! January 31, 2008

I call her the matron mother. Friendly on the surface, but fiercely stern and controlling at the core. 
 
As an OCPD person myself, I like rules, but somehow when she makes them, I find myself seething with passive-aggressive rage.
 
Examples of work rules I could do without:

• Thou shalt not eat at your desk and store food anywhere but in the kitchen
• Thou shalt not use touch your cell phone at all except before 8 a.m., during your 30-minute lunch break, and after 5:30 p.m. This includes not glancing at it even if only for a nano second or keeping it anywhere within sight. (Should this rule be broken, a new rule will have to go into effect in which all cell phones will have to be placed in a big black box upon entering the premises.)
• Thou shalt not make or receive any personal calls on company phones
• Thou shalt not use the internet for personal use (including email)
• Thou shalt clear your desk at the end of each work day (or Matron Mother will get on your case non-stop until you clear it)
• Thou shalt clean/dust your desk every Friday with Windex and a duster
• Thou shalt write with green pen only
• Thou shalt not bring smelly foods to work (i.e., fish and blue cheese are out)
• Thou shalt write a to-do list for each work day and share it with your boss and coworkers at every morning meeting, supposedly so that “everyone” knows what you’re going to be doing all day
• Thou shalt not take any vacation until you’ve been employed at least one year
• If though shalt take more than 4 hours of sick/personal leave per day thou shalt not be paid for the time off 
• Thou shalt work 45 hours a week, from 8:00 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. and always arrive and leave ON TIME
• Thou shalt come to work even if case of floods, blizzards, earthquakes, and other natural disasters
• Thou shalt not have an attitude with verbally abusive customers unless you’re the boss (in which case you can – be as mean as need be and even hang up the phone in their face)

Rules that are not officially written, but might as well…

• When you’re at work, no life exists outside of the office walls. You are the company’s hostage
• You’d better leave everything in the office in its proper place and do everything exactly as is expected or ocpd boss will freak (the f*ck) out and give you a hard time
• Keep busy at all times; you never know when the boss is going to be standing right behind you, checking up on you
• When boss pays you one of her frequent surprise visits, you’d better be doing something useful and be able to convince her of your usefulness
• Forget you need to pee or hold it in as long as possible. Makes you look more hard-working.
• Gobble down your snacks as fast as you can – before boss starts to wonder what you’re up to and finds the need to come up with a rule to limit snack time.
• Don’t be surprised when new rules are created. You can’t expect to have fun in prison.
• Don’t try to hide anything under your desk – boss will go through your stuff and find it (that’s how she found my snacks and passed the no-eating-at-your-desk regulation)
• It’s okay to be a neat/organized freak. In fact it earns you brownie points.
• The boss’ word is law. Don’t EVER break it. Or she’ll pass more laws to make sure the original law is enforced.
• Company outings/trips are not optional (even if boss may claim they are)
• Do not mistake your boss’ friendliness for leniency. Leniency doesn’t exist as long as she’s around.

The woman is driving me crazy. Just two weeks on the job and I’ve already been looking at ads for payroll/accounting positions I might – finally - be qualified for in 1? 2? years when I get out of this prison ward. I guess all will depend on how long I can stand living under Matron Mother’s autocratic rule. Bleh.

A Month in Movies January 26, 2008

It’s been a relatively light movie-watching month compared to previous ones. I guess I’ve been busy!
 

 
Notes to self: Can we say what horrid handwriting this is? I can’t believe I wrote this. I can’t believe I am publishing this. Next time we’ll have to try to use the neat and pretty handwriting, the one reserved to impress people, the one that takes me light years to write. Oh and now I know what pen to use when I write next month’s list – my favorite all-purpose pen: the black Uni-ball Vision, fine point. It doesn’t beat fountain pens, which hold a special place in my romantic hopeless heart, but for something as mundane as writing lists, it’s a dream to write with!

Confessions After One Week At The New Job January 25, 2008

During weekdays I may have to half ass keeping this blog updated because I no longer have two hours to spare each day to write decent posts. So from now it’ll have to be mini posts, crap-quality posts (*anticipated gag*), or no posts at all.
 
I love my new job, but I HATE getting up at 6:25 a.m. (!) every morning. If I didn’t have my water-filled perfume spray on hand to shoot my face with water when that f** alarm goes off, I’d never manage to rise from my warm, comfy bed this inhumanely early.
 
At my new job, I have had to interact with fellow human beings (i.e., co-workers) quite a lot and I have actually found myself enjoying their company – oh, the travesty!
 
I don’t feel as lonely when I’m spending my evenings and weekends alone. It’s like I’m getting so much social interaction at work among my sweet and wonderful coworkers that I’m all socially interacted out by the end of it. Finding a boyfriend just doesn’t seem all that absolutely necessary – or appealing - anymore (OMG, I can’t believe I just said that!). These days I really just look forward to the time alone; I consider it my ‘me’ time: my time to recharge, relax, and do all the things I need to get done that I can’t do during my work days (e.g., exercise, blog, check email, work on my personal finances, go to the bank, etc).
 
My workplace is one helluva strict, organized, and structured place to be. There are so many rules, so many systems in place to be followed to the letter in complete obedience that it feels like being in a Catholic boarding school for girls. At first I hated the feeling of being overly restrained and controlled, but I’ve quickly gotten used to it and now I find it to be necessary. Thanks to our outstanding level of organization, we’re extremely efficient at what we do. I LOVE being a part of something that is so organized, so focused, and so well put together, especially when deadlines are pressing and the workload is growing. We’re really as efficient as a factory assembly line, only the work atmosphere among us is warm, convivial, and supportive.
 
I never thought I’d ever say this, but after having worked one week at this job, I can say two things: 1) I don’t hate people 2) all women are not evil

2008 New Year’s Resolutions January 17, 2008

January 17. I hope it isn’t too late for this…
 
● In 2008 I will find a permanent job (edit: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!) and I will actually work hard at it
 
● In 2008 I will not obsess over my blog statistics – or over how often I post
 
● In 2008 I will make an effort to reply to emails, even if it is just to say ‘thank you’
 
● In 2008 I will read every book I buy, including those I bought in the last three years and haven’t read yet
 
● In 2008 I will keep a record of every book I read
 
● In 2008 I will keep a record of every movie I watch
 
● In 2008 I will not be rude or hostile to fellow movie goers who insist on sitting right next to me
 
● In 2008 I will be nicer to people in general and replace my trademark what-the-hell-are-you-looking-at stare with a softer smile
 
● In 2008 I will not binge on sweets (starting today)
 
● In 2008 I will devote more time to making handmade cards, even if I’ve got no one to give them to
 
● In 2008 I will attend at least one outing organized by a social networking group
 
● In 2008 I will make an honest effort to make at least one new friend and keep in touch with him/her
 
● In 2008 I will go out salsa dancing again, even if it has to be by myself
 
● In 2008 I will take a jazz dance and/or hip hop class
 
● In 2008 I will get back into yoga to become more flexible and reduce stress
 
● In 2008 I will train to run longer and faster
 
● In 2008 I will make efforts to be kinder to my lazy, overweight cat
 
● In 2008 I will sign up for a series of classes and go to at least 50% of them
 
● In 2008 I will not sleep past 10 am
 
● In 2008 I will not take 2-hour (or longer) afternoon naps
 
● In 2008 I will try to make my bed once a month
 
● In 2008 I will reduce the ridiculous amount of time I waste on the web
 
● In 2008 I will shower no less than every other day, even if it’s freezing out and I’m too bloody cold to get naked
 
● In 2008 I will make sure my belly becomes as flat as a pancake
 
● In 2008 I will find a man to fulfill my romantic fantasies

Movies I Need to See Before The End of The Year December 20, 2007

The clock is ticking. There are only 11 days left.

• Atonement
• The Diving Bell and The Butterfly
• Charlie Wilson’s War
• The Savages
• Sweeney Todd

Guess where I will be spending the holidays … Why, at my favorite place on earth, of course, where dreams come true, magic happens, and the whole world lies before my very eyes…
 
The movies!!
 
Woot! Happy holidays to me.

My OCPD Triggers / Pet Peeves December 18, 2007

These give me impulses to go on murdering rampages…
 
People who stand on the left side of the metro escalators. The rule is stand on the right, walk on the left - Every time someone breaks that rule, I want to run them down or shove them aside. It’s one of those things that really want to make me lose my cool in public and strangle someone from behind.
 
Finding that my mom hasn’t properly rinsed or precleaned the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher - The dishwasher isn’t a miracle worker; you DO have to get the gunk off the dishes so it doesn’t dry up and makes the dishwasher’s job impossible. Also, all of the items on the top shelf must be placed face DOWN so everything can get cleaned properly.
 
Catching my mom using the dish sponge to wipe up the counters/sink - It throws me into a fit! The dish sponge is for the dishes only. Grrrrrr…
 
People who show up late by 15 minutes or more at meetings - Unless they’ve got a really really good excuse (e.g., they got into a car accident or a close relative of theirs got sick at the last minute), I see them as being careless, irresponsible, disrespectful and inconsiderate. It makes me quite cranky to have to wait (when there are so many other things I could have been doing during that time!) and it can potentially ruin the meeting completely for me.
 
Changes of plans, especially if they’re last minute - People have no idea how destructive that is to my mood and my well-being. I don’t adapt to change like other people do. It takes me a long time to adjust to anything. When you suddenly decide to change things up on me, you’re basically asking me to undo all the hard work/thinking I’ve probably spent a considerably amount of time doing. Murder, I tell you.
 
Bad grammar/spelling – I can’t stand seeing the word “your” when it’d be obvious to a 10-year old that “you’re” should be used. Simple mistakes like that come across to me as carelessness and shows a lack of regard for proper writing. Heck, English is not my native language and I know better.
 
People who try to change my mind about anything, whether it be about political issues, religion, movie preferences, or food choices - Sorry, I don’t change my mind for people. If I am going to change my mind ever, I’ll do it of my own accord because it suits my self-interests to do so AND fits with MY personal rules/morals/ethics… People are wasting their time (and mine!) when they try to lecture me, give me unsolicited advice, or argue with me about stuff I’m clearly not interested in changing my mind about.
 
Phone use in public – It makes me so mad when people just yap on and on their cell phones and speak as if they were the only living souls on earth. If my phone rings and I’m in the metro, I’m considerate enough to 1) speak in as low a voice as possible (I actually cover my mouth as well so that only the person I’m speaking to hears me) and 2) keep the conversation to just a few minutes (i.e., just enough time to say what I need to say) OR if possible - and I prefer this option above all, 3) ignore the call and let it go to voicemail (my ringer is set on vibrate and to the lowest volume so usually only I can hear it). Of course most people have no such consideration for others. It’s extremely frustrating.
 
Loud people - I’m the kind of person who likes her environment to be quiet and toned down for the most part. Loud people (including people who laugh loudly) drive me nuts. You can’t shut them up or tell them to keep it down, it’s pointless. I swear, they’ll be the deaf of me - if the death of me won’t come first, that is.
 
Beggars and solicitors – They really have a way of pushing my buttons. If they’re so handicapped they really can’t work and/or are so old they can barely stand on their two feet, I’ll have some compassion, but other than that, I have no mercy for solicitors. Get off the bottle/drugs and get a job, darn it! I never give money to anyone who asks unless I feel they truly deserve it and need it (e.g., if someone asks for a quarter because they don’t happen to have enough for bus fare, I’ll gladly give them one if I’ve got one).
 
Couples who make out in public – They make me feel incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassed, not just for myself but for them, too. I don’t mind dropping in on a stolen kiss or two, a hug, an embrace, but if you’re going to use tongues and feel each other up, get a room for heaven’s sake. Yuck. What a disgrace.
 
People with loud car stereos and/or exhausts - WHY must you do this?! I hate you so much if I had a gun I’d probably shoot you for making my heart threaten to stop beating whenever you pass by.
 
Noisy exercisers – I’m not talking about those who socialize at the gym as if it were happy hour (it’s obvious I can’t stand those), but about those who make exercising sound like a hot and heavy sex session. It’s especially disgusting when it comes from short, bulky men who likely have a wiener the size of a gherkin. Ewww! We know you’re not getting enough, but please keep the grunting, moaning, and orgasming to yourself when you lift weights.
 
I could go on and on… but I have to go to bed now.

10 Things I Want (Sometime) Next Year December 11, 2007

1. A JOB – not a contract job, not a temporary job, not a part-time job, but a REAL job that pays ON TIME and gives me benefits
 
2. Someone cute and sweet to cuddle with. He doesn’t have to be a boyfriend (I’m not so good at dating), but it’d be nice if he acted like one
 
3. A new wardrobe – to bring the sexy back! And help me get #2.
 
4. A shrink – to help me KEEP(!) #2 for as long as he’ll stay
 
5. A new desk – One of my desk’s legs decided to give out on me because it had had enough of my propping my feet up on it. Currently the only thing that’s preventing the wobbly desk (and the gigantic monitor sitting on top of it) from caving in on my lap is the bookshelf that it’s leaning on (and my remembering to keep my feet to myself).
 
6. An LCD TV – I watch an average of 4 DVDs a week. If I could turn my living room into a little movie theater, I would probably watch 6. Of course, how I’m going to afford something that is worth more than my life savings remains a huge mystery, but one thing is certain, #1 needs to happen before I can even think about #6.
 
6. A new obsession hobby – Knowing myself, I expect exercise will get old sooner or later. This should help keep #2, too, and make #4 happy? 
 
7. Comfortable noise-cancelling headphones – to put an end to the ear/hearing abuse
 
8. A trip somewhere fun – after #1 is in the bag, naturally. With #2 would be very nice.
 
9. Blemish-free, wrinkle-fre(er) skin – So I can meet #2 outdoors in broad daylight with or without any makeup on
 
10. A home organized like those in interior decorating magazines and catalogues (I want this every year, but I can never quite make it happen, sigh)
 
Now if I had to pick only one of the 10 thing above, I’d go for #1. #2-10 DEPEND on #1. Anybody need a secretary? Only thing is, I don’t do phones and I’m not good with people…