If I’m lucky, maybe three people read this blog on a regular basis. Yet, I feel the need to update this blog every day. When I don’t, I feel ashamed. As if I were letting those three faithful people down for not ”delivering.” As if I were a rotten blogger for not doing my job as I should. (Um, isn’t my life just full of shoulds, don’ts, and musts?)
Chances are nobody actually gives a cahoot if I write once a day or once a month. It’s not like what I write is all that interesting, useful, or fun. It’s not like traffic here is bursting through the roof. It’s not like I get paid to do this. It’s not like I’m trying to impress a hot crush (let’s face it, he won’t be impressed by my neurotic tendencies).
But I care. I care a lot. Perhaps too much.
I feel like as long as the outside world has access to my blog I need to make sure that this space of mine, which is really a reflection of who I am, is well kept like a carefully tended garden. Nobody likes to walk into disorganized, sloppy chaos – at least, I don’t. What I say here may not be to many a person’s liking, but it doesn’t really matter as long as whoever stumbles upon my blog, whether it be that lost, troubled soul who’s looking for a kindred spirit or one of those three faithful readers, can see I’ve put meticulous thought and effort into this endeavour.
And thought and effort I sure do put into this! Blogging’s like having a part-time job I’m so extremely inefficient at that no one in their right mind would pay me hourly to do it. As an obsessive-compulsive perfectionist I can (and do!) spend HOURS on a single post. Because blogging is such a colossal task for me, it can get quite daunting to tackle it every day (not an excuse, I’m just stating the facts).
But I don’t have much of a life - since the quest for perfection pretty much fills up my days - so here I am!
I Must Do Everything I Can To Blog Every Day November 29, 2007
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